being set up?!?!? ...

A few of my coworkers have taken it up as their personal mission to find me a boy. They want to see me go on a date. I'm not sure how I feel about this. On one hand, it's really not a big deal. What can one date hurt right? Here's the thing though. I've never actually been on a date. yep. I am almost 22 years old and I have never been on a date. Why you ask? I've always been somewhat of a hopeless romantic but also have a very realist side. My parents didn't want me dating until I was eighteen (which, you know, is only slightly ridiculous) but I wouldn't have anyways. No one I knew or met in high school was worth it to put it bluntly. I never really got the point of dating for the heck of it. Why in the world would I want to date and have a relationship with someone who I knew it wasn't going anywhere with? But maybe it's just my personality. I have a really really hard time with casual relationships of any sort. I'm either all in or all out for the most part. I get deeply emotionally attached and refuse to become unattached. That in itself warrants worry for this potential date. I won't know this person. I don't do small talk well at all. I don't like meeting new people. I have never done any of this before. However, add on the fact that despite me never officially being in a relationship, I've been in love with this boy I basically grew up with and have known since I was like ten or eleven. I started to like him when I was like 17. And I didn't admit it for a whole year. I had never really even had a crush on a boy before. I mean, I had seen things I admired in other boys, or thought they were cute. But I could always pin-point why they weren't right for me. But this boy, he stole my heart. It took two years (three maybe?) for him to start to like me. It was so slow going from my perspective. But then he did! And we started talking and talking and talking. We had already been really good friends. I went to see him (he lives in another state) and he missed an opportunity to kiss me (silly nervous boy!). After I returned we talked and he basically ended it, it kind of happened abruptly. I spent a year depressed. It was sad and pathetic. ridiculous, but it happened. I was in love with him and it was hard. I felt as though I had not only lost a love but also a very close friend. And then began our cycles. With him it never seems to be over. We are both inexplicably drawn to each other. We know each other too well for our own good sometimes. I'm getting over him... now it's just the moving on part that poses a problem. This makes me really nervous for my potential date. Not necessarily the first one, but if anything came out of it. I mean, how do I explain my crazy emotions for this boy i wasn't in a relationship with? The whole thing was just ridiculous. Also, part of me wonders if I can feel the same way about another person. I mean not exactly the same way, but as deep of feelings. And a huge part of me is intimidated by the process of getting to know/ letting someone get to know me again. It's so much work... and what if it doesn't work out. ahhhh..... My non-relationship thing with this boy has left me with lots of issues but no practical experience. Stupid! Not to mention that being set up is just weird in and of itself. I generally like to have met a person and kind of know them before I hang out with them... and this goes just for friends. I can't imagine meeting a date on a first date. That just brings so much pressure. bah! These things scare me to death. I'm not afraid to be myself, but letting anyone into my life is a big deal for me. wish me luck :)