I always feel the need to blog when I should be sleeping, so it seems. I am pretty sick. I mean, I have a cough and my ears are plugged up, and lots of sinus pressure. Some people probably get this a lot. But I don't hardly ever get sick. Stupid sickness. I have been sick for like a week now too, and that's quite a while for me! bah! I want to be well cause Halloween is Saturday and I want to be able to have fun (and hear!). It'll be my first ever Halloween party. It's exciting. I'm going to be a zombie bride and have my costume pretty much all finished. What else...

youtube. I love youtube. The collab channel with the girls is going great! but my personal channel is falling way, way behind. I'm all vlogged out by the time I do my betweenusfriends video. Well, partly that and partly the fact that all my good ideas come to me in the middle of the day. I'm at work and can't film, and if I don't film them right away then I lose motivation and am convinced that idea was stupid anyways. I would idealistically like to vlog once a week on there. *sigh* I'll work on this.

NaNoWriMo. I'm excited! I am not freaking out...yet. Although I know I should be. I have no real plan. I'm going to be writing a story that I've been writing in my head for years. So, I'm hoping it will come out fairly painlessly. It doesn't have to be good. The point is to get the words out, quantity not quality. That comes later. I am kinda nervous talking about it though. Everyone keeps asking me what I'm writing about. I don't want to tell them. It's a weird thing to me. To tell someone your idea or have them read your writing is a very personal thing. It's like letting someone into your mind. They see how you think, how you view the world. I mean, it's fiction. It's not real. But you stem from real ideas, feeling, and perspective. Some truth comes out of made-up characters. And, I think my novel makes me look slightly, idealistic. Which isn't bad. But I think people will think that I'm "cute" or "young". I don't know. Again, it is proved to me that I care what people think. This definitely bugs me. a lot. Oh! and I'm not going to actually be writing the first few days cause Kayla is coming to stay with me. So I'll be starting off behind... yeah.

er. This is a hard one. That person I was letting go of a few blog posts back. yeah. I haven't. They have the uncanny ability to manipulate me. We've been going round and round in this dysfunctional circle of crazy. We both know it. And I'm done. I need to be done. I have to be done. and I just am. I'm tired of being so very masochistic. I've learned so much, but now need to move on with that knowledge. I just have to tell the person. there's the hard part. Well, not really. The harder part is sticking to what I say. I have the worst will power when it comes to this person. Those who know me well call them my kryptonite. It's that bad. But I must do it. Wish me luck!

Recap. To Do:

*video for personal channel
*tell people what my novel is about
*have a heart to heart and stick to my guns

awesome! well, I'm heading to bed in hopes I'll wake up with a miraculous drained ear. Oh, and tomorrow I'm having a Sex in the City marathon with Kayla! yay!


EDIT- I was just looking through older posts and in a lot of them i say i'm sick. so apparently I like to blog when i'm sick also... *shakes head*