consistency

it's been a few days since i've posted... no bueno. i would like to try and post everyday. it's nice to reflect on how the day has been and how i could have made it better. however, i suck at consistency when it comes to things i do for me. things i want or need to do for my own benefit or good. If i tell someone else i will do something, then i will. but if it's for me, i usually don't. i need consistency in my life desperately. it's something me and God need to work on. It's something i need to pray for. In my daily walk with him i suck at consistency. yes i do. bah! i get so frustrated at myself sometimes. cause the truth is i'm not really doing anything else of merit. plus, it's not like it takes so much effort. it's simply the act of starting something that is the hardest part. once i commit and go for it i'm golden. for the most part. I just have to make it a priority. so, i will be praying for consistency. hopefully, praying for consistency will be the first thing i do consistently. haha. This definately reminds me of a relient k song... though as of now i can't remember the name of it.
what has happened since i last wrote? hmm... I babysat on saturday and was slightly inspired. The woman whose kids i watched is really and truly amazing. she has three children, two degrees, a great job and house, and is really down to earth. you can tell she truly cares about the people around her and puts her family first. although she seemingly has reason to brag, she doesn't. She lives quietly by example. She's the kind of person, that as a child, i had envisioned myself being when i grew up. living by example instead of by words. needless to say, she inspired me to do some of those things i wished i was doing. to think about the path my life was taking just a little bit.
church on sunday was amazing. the thing i got most from it was that we should be passionate. which is funny because that wasn't really the focus of the day. but i have been thinking a lot about passion lately. I am a person who, when i find the right thing am very passionate. i love to be passionate about things and people. there is nothing worse to me then being stuck doing something i am not passionate about or being surrounded by people i do not feel passionately about. i really don't understand how people can go around living their lives doing things that are okay but don't truly make them happy. it baffles me. it saddens me mostly. even if the thing you love doing doesn't make you a lot of money, if you are passionate about it, that's awesome! i think this is part of the reason i can't decide what i want to do career wise with my life. i don't want to end up doing something i'm not passionate about. it scares me to the core. as does the thought that i will never find a person who is just as passionate about me as i am about them... as of now i am very passionate about my job and my closest friends. I love them dearly and i love what i do. and, after a year of not having passion in my life, it's great to have it back! it makes me so happy and driven. even if i don't know what i want to do yet... haha

oh! and the three day weekend was awesome even if i didn't do much :) i started learning guitar finally! and i put up the youtube page for Jeanine and I. it is www.youtube.com/betweenusfriends so... go take a look!