Swimming Lessons

So... today was my day off and as usual, I pretty much avoided doing anything at all. It should be the day I use to get all kinds of things I need to get done done but I'm lazy! I did however, take two girls I babysit to swimming lessons. This is the second week in a row I've done so. Last week, the youngest one had to jump into the pool in her clothes. They do this so that if you ever fall in by accident you don't panic, you've practiced and now know what to do. She did panic and refused to finish her lesson. She sat on the steps and cried. That day I was aggravated by this. She tends to use her emotions to manipulate people into getting what she wants. She didn't finish the lesson and therefore has to do it over. So, this week I got her all ready to do the lesson over again, only this time I made sure she had her swimsuit on underneath her clothes, so she wouldn't have to change half way through. She knew what was coming, dad had talked to her, and so had I. As soon as we got closer to the pool I could see her start to panic. Her whole body tightened up and she started to shut down. I talked to her in a soothing voice and tried to explain to her what she was going to be doing and why this was important. However, she did not want to do it. So, today she didn't have to finish that lesson, they moved on to freestyle and will come back to it. I thought she was refusing to do this simply because she didn't understand why. but that wasn't the reason at all. She really is scared. As i watched who practice freestyle, I noticed that she doesn't seem comfortable in the water at all. She doesn't have control and that scares her. I hope they push her to do this lesson, she needs to overcome her fear. It is so much like grownup life too. We have to be pushed out of our comfort zone in order to grow and learn. We have to do things we don't want to or things that scare us so that we simply know how to do them. It's important. Sometimes, like this little girl, I am put into a situation where I don't feel comfortable and I run away, refusing to do it. But I will have to do it eventually. I'm kind of going through that right now. I have things I have to deal with with a certain person in my life, yet I put it on the back burner for a few weeks. I wasn't sure if I was strong enough. But.. I know it's something I have to do and now I"m kinda wishing I had just deal with it at the time. Actually, in this area of my life, there are a lot of things I wish I had dealt with earlier on, I wouldn't have had to go through so much pain. So, do we ever learn this lesson? or do we just keep repeating it? I am really frustrated with my humaness right now. I feel as though no matter how hard I try to move forward, I only end up back where I started. I get so very close to being done with the lesson and then I give up and shut down. I go back to my comfort zone even though it's no good for me. I don't want to be complacent. and so... i am aggravated at myself. yes i am. grrr....